November 8, 2019 Issue, Page 4 of 18

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Page 4 The Elk City News, Elk City, Oklahoma Friday, November 8, 2019 Opinion Page The lost art of saying thank you “ElkCituNews Glynda Lomax is a Chris- tian author and podcaster a card and address the enve- lope? How many relation- preciation. OffI went on my quest for the perfect gifts. I Serving Western Oklahoma since 1901 who resides in the Ozark ships and friendships have decided gift bags would be Mountains of Northern Ar-we sacrificed on the altar best, since that way I could Seeing life and kansas with her two very of our busyness? Did we choose multiple gifts and bossy dogs. She wrote her gain anything worthwhile in be sure to please them. I (first About Life..column in place of the relationships we shopped all the local stores 2003 for a newspaper in lost? A few more minutes where I lived as well as death play out Dallas. She is planning her next book, in front of the latest reality show on television? There are many ways to online to make my budget stretch as far as possible. Filled with excitement, I “God gave you a gift of say thank you: phone calls, filled the gift bags with love- ciate different things about By Don Munsch, Editor 86,400 seconds today. Have emails, small gifts and last ly luxuries I knew they were different people. But how My visits to the hospital have been few and far between you used one to say “thank but not least, thank you sure to enjoy and sent them often do we express our ap- throughout my life, and they’ve been usually emergency you?” ~ William A. Ward notes. Thank you notes seem on their way. Christmas preciation? How many lives room visits, the last of which must have been at least a to have becomea lost art in came and went. Every time have you touched today by decade or so ago. Everyone likes to feel ap- our harried society. What a the phone rang, I was sure it appreciating another? Wil- Most of the time when I’m sick, I see a family doctor, preciated. I remember a job sad situation when a small would be one of them, call- liam Arthur Ward said it best although a few times in the past I have visited an emer- satisfaction survey years ago token of appreciation that ing to say how much they when he said “Feeling grati- gency care center, depending on the circumstances then. that showed employees were takes so few minutes to write loved their gifts. tude and not expressing it is But I never have dealt with anything traumatic — life or willing to accept less pay if can make such a big differ- But those calls never like wrapping a present and death — in my time or a loved one’s life, and so I haven't they received more recog- ence. In years past, I have came. There was never a not giving it.” How can we been confronted with something of which I read about gained more than one job note of thanks, a letter or expect to have strong friend- nition and felt appreciated. in a recent column by a medical doctor published in The The power of appreciation over other qualified appli- even an email. To this day I ships and good relationships New York Times. cannot be underestimated. cants by the mere margin of don’t know if they enjoyed if we never appreciate those The doctor, a pulmonary and critical care doctor at Many marriages fail because sending a Thank You note to their gifts or if they even who mean so much to us? Brigham & Women’s Hospital in Boston, described her one or both parties feel “tak- the hiring manager for the in- received them since I sent Everyone talks about how encounter with a woman in the family waiting room out- en for granted” — unappreci- terview. But the real reason I them in care of a relative. busy they are, but are we re- side an intensive care unit. The woman’s husband had ated. Friendships fall by the learned to write Thank You Being thankful is a life- ally that busy? If we are, per- suffered a heart attack. The doctor, Daniela Lamas, told wayside because friends lose notes is I want the people in style. It is the lifestyle of haps some other things need the woman that her team had started CPR again on the touch. They lose touch be- my life that I do appreciate looking at the half of your to come off our schedules patient and was worried he may not make it. And then she asked the patient’s wife a surprising ques- cause they don’t make time and that I love, to know it. because the day eventually cup that is full instead of the tion. At least surprising to those who know about stan- to keep in touch and appreci- I remember one Christ- half that is empty, and being comes when those people dard medical protocol. ate each other. mas there were two people thankful every day for every are no longer around for us Lamas asked the patient’s wife whether she wanted to Have we committed our- I wanted to buy really spe- person and every blessing to appreciate. be there while they conducted CPR. selves to do everything ex- cial gifts for. They lived far you have in your life. The patient’s wife accepted the offer. cept what's most important? away from me and we didn’t There are many people “The Pilgrims made seven Lamas founda chair for her to sit in in the nearby hall- Most of us have more to do have a lot of contact, but I around us we appreciate and times more graves than huts. way, where she could watch what was going on without than we have time to do it cared very deeply for them many ways to appreciate No Americans have been being in the way. in, but how long does it re- and decided one Christmas them. There are our friends more impoverished than “She sat. I looked down at her and realized I wasn’t ally take to say “thank you?” I wanted to give them some- and family, coworkers, ser- these who, nevertheless, set sure what to say. Of all the protocols in critical care, there How long does it take to jot thing really special to show vice people, clerks and ca- aside a day of thanksgiv- was none that might have prepared me for his,” Lamas three sentences of thanks on the depth of my love and ap- shiers in stores. We appre- ing.” ~ H.U. Westermayer wrote in the piece. Americans can’t afford insurance Lamas explained that new research shows relatives don’t distract the medical team or interfere with decision- making during a code — i.e., when an individual is in car- diopulmonary arrest. She also said there are no increases in “legal ramifications.” Additionally, she said, allowing relatives to be present for CPR does not bring about higher levels of PTSD or - and Obamacare is to blame depression for them and that relatives are allowed to see how doctors and the medical team do or did everything By Sally C. Pipes Just under half of Ameri- tus. the least expensive Obam- possible to save a loved one. The number of uninsured cans are eligible for subsi- These mandates have acare plans. I’m not sure I would want to be around when a loved Americans rose in 2018 for dies. The rest are out of luck, raised costs for insurers, And thanks to a rule one was being worked on by a medical team, but I do ap- the first time since the Af- and face monthly premiums which they've passed on change by the Trump ad- preciate at least being given the option to be nearby. fordable Care Act passed in routinely exceeding $1,000. to enrollees in the form of ministration, Americans can The column triggered my interest in medical ethics and 2010, according to the Cen- As a result, many people higher premiums. In 2017, purchase short-term plans protocols, specifically how doctors are trained to interact sus Bureau. are deciding not to shop for average exchange premiums that last up to 364 days. In- with patients and families, especially when the situation Obamacare’s defenders coverage on Obamacare’s rose 21 percent. Not surpris- surers can also renew those is critical. Do medical doctors learn certain ethics in med- were quick to blame the exchanges. Between 2016 ingly, exchange enrollment policies for up to three years. ical school, or is this area something they learn about dur- change on meddling by the and 2018, unsubsidized en- fell by 10 percent that same Trump administration. But rollment plummeted by 2.5 Previously, short-term plans ing their residencies? And is there ever a foolproof way year. Americans who didn’t only lasted three months and to deliver bad news to a patient in a consultation room, the real culprit is the law’s million -- a 40 percent de- qualify for subsidies ac- faulty design. cline from around 6.2 mil- counted for roughly 85 per- couldn’t be renewed. such as informing him or her that treatment options have run out? Since the first exchange lion to 3.7 million, Eighty cent of this decrease. As the next open enroll- Tonce saw a television show in my which a patient with plans went into effect in seven percent of people with An additional 1.2 million ment period approaches, it’s an unusual skin disorder was interviewed in a class at a 2014, Obamacare has de- exchange coverage received unsubsidized patients ex- clearer than ever that Obam- medical school so that students could learn the value of livered higher premiums subsidies in 2019. ited the exchanges in 2018, acare has failed. The law’s remembering to “treat the patient, not the affliction.” and deductibles for Ameri- when premiums rose by 26 mandates were supposed The cost of exchange cov- Long ago, I wanted to do a story about patient/family cans who don’t get coverage erage has soared because of percent. to help every American get ethics at one my newspaper stops, when I wrote for a sec- from their employers. As a Obamacare’s many rules, Fortunately, there’s at least insurance. Instead, they’ ve tion of the paper called “Beliefs & Ethics.” I discussed result, millions have fled the mandates, and regulations. one option still available to made it impossible for al- the idea with a pastor who served on a local hospital eth- Obamacare exchanges over Obamacare requires every those who can’t afford the most anyone to purchase ics board, but I never got around to doing that story. the past few years. Today, plan sold on the exchanges plans on Obamacare’s ex- coverage without a govern- But it’s a topic I still think about and might explore in only people who receive to cover a list of 10 “essen- changes -- short-term, limit- ment subsidy. So much for the future. government subsidies can tial health benefits,” from ed duration insurance. These the “Affordable” Care Act. afford exchange plans. pediatric vision care to sub- policies are exempt from Sally C. Pipes is presi- Currently, Americans who stance abuse treatment. Such Obamacare’s mandates. In- Help brighten the make less than 400 percent of the federal poverty level comprehensive coverage is expensive. It’s also un- surers don’t have to cover every essential health benefit dent, CEO, and Thomas W. Smith Fellow in Health Care but do not qualify for Med- appealing to many people, and can price plans based on Policy at the Pacific Re- holiday season icaid are eligible for sub- sidies. These subsidies are particularly young folks for a beneficiary’s risk. whom these benefits seem As a result, short-term search Institute. Her latest book is The False Promise of Single-Payer Health Care generous. For example, a far from “essential.” plans are far more afford- By Oklahoma Institute ter families struggle to af- family of four with $50,000 Obamacare also forces in- able. One analysis found (Encounter). Follow her on for Child Advocacy CEO ford presents for their foster in annual income could get a surers to charge everyone of that premiums for the cheap- Twitter @sallypipes. This Joe Dorman children, as much as they $15,855 plan for just $3,250 a certain age the same rate, est short-term plans are 80 piece originally ran in De- There are almost 8000 would like to shower them -- or $271 per month. regardless of their health sta- percent lower than those for troit News. children in Oklahoma’s with gifts and attention. foster care system. Most That’s why the Okla- of those are kids under 12 homa Institute for Child purchase gifts off of these gram has been delayed, and anyone who would like to to become a foster parent, years old, and many of them Advocacy (OICA) is proud wish lists, averaging about to encourage Oklahomans to help those fighting cancer: please go to okdhs.org for also have brothers and sis- to manage the OK Foster $75 per list, to help sup- consider another way they consider adding your name more information. OK Fos- ters in the system. Needless Wishes project, a partner- port the many thousands of can help those who are in- to a registry of potential to say, it is important for ship with the Oklahoma foster families struggling to need. bone marrow donors. There ter Wishes was formed by the state to recruit and re- Department of Human Ser- make ends meet. In addition, Miranda, our OK Foster is an easy way everyone can many kindhearted souls with tain foster parents so that all vices (DHS) and its Holiday we need donors who will Wishes Program Director, get on the donor registry the ultimate goal of finding a these children have loving Hope campaign. Through contribute financial support is on temporary extended - and all it takes is a quick foster home for every youth and safe homes. OK Foster Wishes, we help to help buy gifts for unful- leave. She writes, “The past cheek swab. If you are so in need in our state. Work- Foster parents are per- distribute more than 4,500 filled lists and also keep the month has been incredibly moved, go to Be the Match forming one of the most im- presents to children in fos- program operating. If you difficult for my family. We Bone Marrow Registry (bet- ing with DHS, you can learn portant, selfless acts that we ter care coming from over would like to make a dona- were blindsided by the di- hematch.org) to learn how to what it takes to become a can ask of our fellow Okla- 60 counties across the state tion or receive a wish list, agnosis of our oldest son be a donor. foster parent and make a homans. If you are a foster (the remaining 17 counties you can do so at OKFos- with Acute Myeloid Leu- Peyton Stacy, our OICA parent and are reading this, already have local gift drive real difference in the life of terWishes.org starting next kemia, an aggressive form Office Coordinator, will be thank you for your service programs). What’s more, week (Monday, Nov. 11). of cancer. We have been in filling in for Miranda until achild. and the compassion you are these are presents that have We normally start our OK the hospital since October she is able to return to work, Thank you again for those demonstrating. If you are a been personally requested Foster Wishes campaign on Ist. We are soon to start his If you would like to volun- strong supporters of the OK foster parent, you also know by each foster child through Nov. 1, so we are getting a that opening your home to a a “wish list” submitted to second round of chemo then teer for OK Foster Wishes Foster Wishes program and late start this year. We hope will likely go to bone mar- or have a question about the the work done by OICA. foster child can create seri- their DHS caseworker. our generous donors can help row transplant. We appreci- program, she can be reached ous strains on your family us make up for lost time! ate all of the love and sup- at pstacy @oica.org. Your help ensures the holi- budget. As we approach the We are looking for Okla- T want to take a moment port.” days are bright for Oklaho- holiday season, many fos- homans who are willing to to write about why this pro- Miranda has a request for Finally, if you are moved ma’s foster children! Have something to share? Send your editorial to [email protected]